Rantings of Insanity

Apparently it's "Space Pocohantas: The Movie"

2009-12-18T04:59:17Z

I guess some people are protesting the movie Avatar because none of the characters are gay?

this is even worse than omegle

2009-12-08T09:37:09Z

holy shit you guys

http://chatroulette.com/

Have I talked about Brawl+ yet to you guys?

2009-12-01T22:14:04Z

Apparently not. Man, this whole space between swine flu and now has been WEIRD, but I think after thanksgiving break was over I finally got myself back into my groove.

Anyways, Brawl+ is a version of super smash brothers brawl that's been modified so that the game runs way the fuck faster. They also did something weird with something called a "buffer" (as I understand it, it's something to do with how long of a time can go by between when you hit the button and when the move is actually performed) to make the game run INSANE. With both of these combined, the game is now all about making insane fucking combos, which are both easier to pull off and insanely more impressive. On top of all this, they also fixed minor problems with balancing (for example: Ness is retardedly buff), and added a few extra skins to characters (all-time favorite: Teenage Mutant Ninja Squirtle). Essentially, this is now my favorite fighting game.

Earlier today, Roy, Efron, and Erik (efron's roommate) were all playing smash and arguing about it, and came upon an argument. This argument was about Ganondorf, who efron loves to play and we all hate playing against. Why? Well you see, Gorfadorf punches so much harder than anyone else in the game that by the fifth or sixth punch in a combo, you are guaranteed to be dead. He also weighs more than any other character, so punching him out of the ring is next to impossible. His tradeoff is that he's also the SLOWEST character in the game, but when you're the walking tank that Ganondorf is, it doesn't really matter. Roy believes this to be a completely unfair advantage, whereas I feel it's a legitimate strategy, albeit a douchey one.

Fortunately, we reached a conclusion! It's acceptable to play Ganondorf IF AND ONLY IF you admit beforehand that you are an asshole.

I mean it's not even like there's a thunderdome or anything

2009-11-30T17:43:41Z

Over thanksgiving break, I was staying at my parent's house, where I ended up discovering that my mom and aunt are both terrified of the 2012 prophecy. Here's a transcript of what more or less went down

Mom: So Matthew, have you seen the previews for that 2012 movie?
Me: yup
Mom: It looks pretty exciting!
Me: Yeah, probably. I'm not going to see it though, it looks pretty stupid.
Mom: But Matthew! That is TOTALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!!!
Me: *stare* r u srs lol
Mom: The mayan calander ends in 2012!
Me: My calendar ends on the 31st!
Mom: Well what if it DOES happen? The world could end anytime you know.
Me: Yeah, I guess. I dunno though, I'm pretty prepared. I know how to deal with zombies, how to make drinkable water and what plants are edible. If I survive the bombs I'll make it.
Mom: BUT WHAT IF YOU DON'T? If the world ends, you won't live.
Me: Okay, well if the ENTIRE WORLD ENDS and the planet stops existing then yes, I will probably die. There's also you know... nothing I could really do about that
Mom: Well you can be READY FOR IT
Me: Please mom, I could be prepared for the end of the world to be in 20 minutes. I consider myself a good person, and keep myself pretty much prepared to die at any point. Besides, I've seen Mad Max like five times.
Mom: What's that movie about again?
Me: What to do AFTER the world ends
Mom: Okay, then what do you do?
Me: Drive racecars through the desert all day.

I am that man from liverpool

2009-11-08T22:29:50Z

Huh. So I guess I totally skipped over Halloween, didn't I? Long story short, I was John Lennon and you probably weren't. Shenanigans were had.

Meanwhile, http://twitter.com/Shitmydadsays

Did you ever play heroes of might and magic III?

2009-10-27T23:46:47Z

Because I'm re-installing that shit.

In other news, Venture Brothers season 4 is awesome.

Squeal piggy, squeal!

2009-10-24T01:08:03Z

Welp, I'm still coughing my brains out, but my fever's been gone for a few days and the body aches are gone. I'm not even throwing up anymore! Also I am back in the dorms, so I can effectively say that swine flu has been effectively dealt with.

I can't wait for people to freak out over swine flu around me so i can stop them mid-sentence with "bitch, please...."

H1N1 Here I come

2009-10-21T14:42:56Z

So according to the doctor, I have Swine Fucking Flu. Basically, it just feels like a really bad flu, but it's contaigous enough so that i'm constantly wearing a mask and gloves. I'm staying with my parents until I feel better, but holy christ do i just want this to go away.

Also a stuffy nose

2009-10-20T06:15:10Z

Well, I woke up today with a sore throat, and it appears as if i'm getting sicker by the hour. Fortunately, I caught this one as it started and have been fighting it with everything i've got. currently typing with a thermometer in my mouth, and by the end of this post I'll know if I have a fever. Oh wait, it was by the end of the sentence! 100 degrees ATM, but i'm drinking so many fluids that I have to pee more often than Danielle.

Doors are no obstacle for a Warrior of Metal!

2009-10-14T17:05:43Z

So after physics today, I come home to realize that I forgot my key in my room, and that I was locked the fuck out. I pounded on the door until my knuckles were (are still) in pain, and spent 45 minutes calling and texting roommates to find out they were all in class. Then I opened up my wallet, and noticed my collection of paper clips and bobby pins. I'd always kept them in case I ever learned how to pick locks, so i could just open doors straight away. Well, I didn't have many other options, so i figured I'd go for it. I managed to hook the paper clip around the mechanism that keeps the door closed, pulled that bastard open, and got into my room. To celebrate, I lj'd about it.

Brutal Legend came out today

2009-10-14T07:57:43Z

And it is so goddamn cool. I think it's honestly one of my favorite video games now, and suprisingly it's not just because of the obligatory heavy metal (but dammit it helps)!

Brutal Legend an adventure game that plays better than anything I've played in a long time. Think like Jack and Daxter, but with swearing and Ozzy. All of the voicework is top-notch, the art design is great, and it feels like all of the games i grew up playing the hell out of in elementary-middle school (Rocket: Robot on Wheel and Banjo-kazooie come to mind). I'm actually way more impressed by this game than I thought I would be, since I was totally expecting the gameplay to suck and be disappointing. Also, Ozzy's in it.

This is why I love Omegle

2009-10-12T03:45:45Z

For those of you who don't know, Omegle is a website where you connect and talk anonymously to one, randomly selected other person who is using Omegle. Theoretically, you trade cultural values with someone and have meaningful conversation. Usually, they just want to cyber or troll you. Hilarity Ensues.

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey asl?

You: 17/f/CA

You: you?

Stranger: 18 m florida

You: oh nice

Stranger: do u masterbate?

You: heh...

You: i like... i don't know if i'd call it masturbating

You: but sometimes at night i play with myself a little bit

Stranger: want to do that now?

You: i don't really know, i do it kindof weird

Stranger: how's that?

You: i don't wanna say!

Stranger: go ahead, its anonymous

You: but it's emberassing!

Stranger: go on

You: you go first

Stranger: saying what im doing?

You: yeah

Stranger: well right now im rubbing my dick through my underwear, slowly making it hard

You: mmm okay, well i'll tell you how i do it then

You: first, i turn out all the lights

You: and I lay down on my bed

You: and then with my PJs still on, i kindof... well idk how to explain it

You: but i touch myself like... around my cooter

You: and then i slide my PJs off

You: and touch myself outside my underwear

You: wait, are you touching yourself RIGHT NOW?

Stranger: no, but I was wondering if you wanted to together

You: I might if you start

You: i mean i do more stuff than just what i said, but it's REALLY EMBERASSING and I don't wanna say

Stranger: it's ok, go ahead

You: alright

Stranger: im touching myself now

You: well after i do that

You: i take my underwear off

You: and put a little bit of vaseline on my hand

You: and start rubbing on my clit

Stranger: mmmm yeah

You: and then i rub a bit like that

You: and then i put some vaseline on my other hand

You: and with that hand I start rubbing my penis

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

</div></div></div>

HEY YOU GUYS WANNA SEE MY DORM ROOM

2009-10-09T04:54:17Z

Hey, told you I'd eventually take you on a tour.

This is our livingroom. We live here.

We also shoot things with our machinegun (Sean re-arranged our room so we no longer have a machinegun nest. This makes me sad because we now only have a machinegun coffee-table).

On to my room. Notice how "goddammit matt why would you do that..." it is already!

WHABAM. Atomic Clocks, hanging skulls and rockin' guitars. Already It's pretty classy.

This is the other side of my room, complete with a bag of skulls hanging off of the ceiling.

The other corner of my room. Not too much to see here except my skull, Rick.

Final wall, my obligatory "jam the fuck out" zone. NOT PICTURED: MY FUCKING AMP

This one's boring though. :c

Well, now I feel like an attention whore.

Jawohl Mein Heir

2009-10-07T07:58:30Z

Well, this is kindof cool.

My roommate dan has terrifying gas masks! I may end up scrapping my idea to be John Lennon for Halloween after all...

And to think i thought I knew a thing or two

2009-10-01T23:58:11Z

Alright, so I think I might finally be level-headed enough to talk about what the fuck just happened to me.

Last night, I stared at my calculus homework for hours, and the harder I tried to understand it, the less it made sense. I started freaking out, because for the first time in my life, I couldn't understand something, and that something just happened to be using trigonometric substitution to integrate equations. It's literally a culmination of everything I've ever learned mathematical, and sums up all of the parts that I'd always considered separate into one giant mathematical mess. Looking at this, looking at who I am, I finally realized that me being terrible at math finally caught up with me. I always told myself that if Civil Engineering turned out not to be my thing, I can always switch majors. Well, on top of the fact that I hate my classes and find them uninteresting, the math has finally gotten to the level where, to me at least, it is completely incomprehensible.

I remember distinctly ever since the first grade having trouble with math. I was always least mathematically inclined in all of my classes, and can still remember how much trouble I had comprehending the fact that two plus three was five. I remember once in 7th grade when I freaked out so bad trying to do my math homework that I was tearing the room apart and throwing crap at the walls because of how frustrated I was. I've always had issues with mathematics, but still I wanted so badly to build things.

Well, I spent two hours on the phone with my dad last night, sobbing into the phone about this whole fucking mess. If I can't do this math, I can't get a degree in Civil Engineering. And the worst part about it all, is that I basically planned my life out around that for years. I was going to start off in Engineering, and tough it out through my hard classes until I never had to do them again. My classes were going to be interesting. I was going to get an internship somewhere between my third and fourth years, and then follow that road until it turned into a career. I was going to have a job that I loved, that also happened to pay well on top of it all. And now that doesn't look like it's happening. This is terrifying, and I don't really know how the fuck I'm going to deal with not knowing anymore.

My parents did however tell me on the phone last night that I always have their support though, and that if I can't pass this class without destroying my happiness, health, and well-being, well then it just isn't worth it. I'm just going to have to beg the teacher to see if I can get a withdrawal or an incompletion in the class instead of the F I'd get if I just stopped going, but If I have to take it then it doesn't look like I have much choice. Here I thought that not having a job would give me time to do better at school, but all it did was give me time to look myself in the mirror and realize that I was trying to get a degree in something that just isn't for me.

So now what do I do? Well, I need to change majors at the end of the semester for sure. Into what? I don't know. I'll talk to a career counselor about it, and maybe they'll have advice. Already, I've been looking at Journalism, Teaching, Media Studies, and Music. Mostly, I finally realized that I can avoid mathematics, and it's okay! I'll still make it from the womb to the tomb, and life has a funny things of eventually working out for everyone to fill their niche.

If any of you guys have any advice you can give me, I'd greatly appreciate it. Even if it's just telling me that it's okay to change directions on where I'm going in life, I need to hear it. I just need re-assurance that everything is going to be alright in the end.

Goddammit

2009-10-01T03:43:42Z

I think I might just straight-up be too stupid to understand Calculus at this level. A moment ago it all made sortof sense, and now suddenly i'm entirely lost. I can't understand anything that's going on, and I think I'm seriously having a panic attack or an identity crisis or something along those lines.

Regardless, looks like I'm having a hilarious nervous breakdown tonight. Hah!

Hurr hurr attention whore

2009-09-28T19:46:55Z

1. Name:
2. Date of birth:
3. Where you live:
4. What makes you happy:
5. Currently listening/the last thing you listened to:
6. Do you read my journal?:
7. If yes, what makes it especially good or bad?:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. What do you love at the moment?:
10. Favourite place to spend time:
11. Favourite lyric:
12. The best time of the year:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A band, a song, or album:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Look at my friends-list and tell what you like about one of our mutual friends:
4. Oh, show me a picture of yourself! Cause I'm nosy like that:
5. Put this in your journal so that I can tell you what I like about you.

Unemployment and the benefits therein

2009-09-28T04:41:58Z

Ugh, it's been a while, hasn't it?

THINGS I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST WEEK+ THAT I HAVE NOT TALKED ABOUT AND MY THOUGHTS ON THEM:

- I fought the law and uh, ~~the law~~ I won! I finally got my court date for that biking ticket, and when I showed up with all my evidence ready to fight it, the cop didn't even show! I promptly busted a load all over the face and hair of the law.

- I got a betta fish! His name is Kanye, because he's a gay fish and loves fishsticks. His home is a bowl with nerd dice as gravel and some live plants. Unfortunately, he died quickly, since Petco sells shitty, dying fish. I told him that I know that his bowl was cool and all, but the San Diego Sewer System is one of the greatest waterways of all-time.

- Efron started dating Sami! She developed a crush on him and I noticed it when the three of us were hanging out. I didn't want to cockblock so I left the room, and then he TOTALLY followed through on it! Big props for that. However, after two or three "dates" or whatever, she decided to end it and he got sad, so that's a bit unfortunate. BTW sami, do you still use LJ?

- We re-arranged our common room! I'll take pictures when I remember to pick my camera back up from my parent's house, but it now looks classy and there's totally way better spacing with the room, as well as a machinegun nest set up to cover the main entrance in case I feel like shooting 25 nerf darts at someone before they can count to ten. Speaking of, I figured out how to get my Nerf pistol to shoot condoms, or as I like to call them, SLR's (Spermicidaly Lubricated Rounds).

- I'm considering changing my major! Currently, in case you didn't know, I'm a civil engineering major. The classes are tough, but I'm just going to sit here and deal with them. Unfortunately, my statics class, which is actually a class designed to approximate what a civil engineer would do, is boring as fuck, and If I'm not interested in the field I'm majoring in, something's probably wrong. I have to wait till the semester ends to make a decision anyways, so I'll see how I feel about my classes then.

- I lost my job! Apparently the yogurt store is being forced out by SDSU's leasing system, since SDSU just opened up a froyo shop and doesn't want competition. My last shift was this morning, and now that that's over with, I brought all kinds of yogurt home with me to cry over. I also plan on helping my manager move stuff to his car, so that I can swag those fake plants, tiki decorations, and hula girl lamp to re-decorate my common room with. Personally, I'm going to take this as a blessing in disguise and take this opportunity to focus more on school. I've saved up enough money to last me till the inevitable nuclear apocalypse anyways. And who knows, maybe I'm eligible for unemployment!

Vulcan

2009-09-15T02:19:22Z

Holy tits you guys.

The Vulcan is pretty much the coolest toy in the world.

Nerf shit

2009-09-13T03:38:03Z

So it looks like my roommates have discovered how hilarious Nerf guns are, and are going around arming themselves. Dan's even apparently got the Nerf Vulcan just sitting around at his house and is on his way over here with it.

Meanwhile, I keep staring at my nerf shotgun and my nerf rifle, and wonder if there's a way to attach the shotgun to the bottom. I'd have to open her up to check out the internals though, and that's waaaaay too much effort. Of course, this may change some time soon.

Ker-pow! Plus 1d10 damage!

2009-09-11T16:34:21Z

So, labor day weekend came and went, and my roommates already got busted for booze! Fortunately I was in my room at the time and didn't get cited or anything, so I'm off scott-free! Sean the Irishman however got out of it by immediately running to his room, tearing his clothes off, and throwing a towel on. He then came out and said "What the hell are you guys doing?", and for this, we award him the gold star.

Meanwhile, we also got Beatles Rockband now that it's out, and I have to say that I am quite impressed. Sean, being from Ireland, has never even heard of rockband, and loves the shit out of it. Since he's a music major, he's already playing on Hard difficulty because he is insane with rhythm.

I'm beginning to think that Ireland is another planet.

My classes (and the rest of my roommates)

2009-09-01T16:47:37Z

Welp, two more dudes moved in, and I'm currently in day TWO of classes. I'll start with the new guys.

Kevin came in while i was at work on Saturday. He likes to play guitar, listen to Led Zepplin, Black Sabbath and The Beatles, and be silly. I enjoy him. Dan moved in sunday night around 9 or 10 at night. He's super immature, loves comic books, and violent video games for the express reason that they are brutally violent. He wants to be a police officer specifically so he can "chase bad guys". He's got some learning to do and needs to act a bit less defensive about himself, but other than that he's a good guy. We'll fix him in about a week.

Meanwhile, classes! I'm taking second semester physics at 8 in the fucking morning MWF, and then I have Calculus 2, Statics, and yet another Civil Engineering with Computers class. We'll see how it all pans out this year, but I've got a good feeling that this is going to be one of the best years of my entire life.

Also also, I went to visit Efron over on his floor, and he is not only surrounded by girls, but they all follow him around and he is literally rolling in poon. I never thought I'd see the day, but I'm so proud of him.

All moved in!

2009-08-29T16:15:51Z

And my room actually looks pretty classy!

I have the same suite-style setup as last year, but instead of having seven other guys to share a suite with, I have two. The six other doors will remain locked for the rest of the year.

Anyways, I'm living with George and Sean. George is a nerdy dude who likes starcraft and other video games, as well as dungeons and dragons and sports. He seems like a good guy, and I'll be getting along with him great. There's also Sean, who is an exchange student from Ireland. He is the most Irish motherfucker I have ever met, and I can't understand a word he says. He's fucking hilarious though, and we're going to have a blast. He's never had a fish taco before, so we're taking him to Rubio's to watch him eat one. This will seriously be entertaining.

Meanwhile they CLOSED DOWN STEAK ESCAPE. UGHHHHH.

I move tomorrow

2009-08-28T05:21:48Z

ivhorseman @ 2009-08-25T12:07:00

2009-08-25T19:26:25Z

Well, I went on another date with that girl from OKcupid last night. Her name's Joy, and we went to go see Inglourious Basterds. It was really, really fucking good. In fact, I would say it's about as good as Pulp Fiction, and better than both Kill Bill movies. It's even better than Itallics!

Anyways, back to this girl. Unfortunately, I don't really feel any connection with her at all. She worries too much, has little to no sense of humor, and is kindof annoying. On the plus side, she started talking to me about how she likes DnD, but then it occured to me last night (we wandered through the bookstore waiting for our movie to start) that all she really likes to do is look at the pictures in the monster manual. The worst part about it all, is that I don't even really find her very attractive. She's not ugly by any means, and she even has (dyed) red hair, pale skin, and tons of freckles. Normally, this would drive me ga-ga, but I'm in no way attracted to her at all, and I have no idea why. I'm going to have to break it off with her (I would have after the first date, but she left a library book in my car which forced me to see her again), but I've never really broken up with anyone before, even if she's not my girlfriend or anything like that. Anyone got good advice on how to break up with someone and not make them feel like shit?

Meanwhile, I move back into the dorms on Friday! This means I finally get to move back out of my parent's house, and into the dorms. Efron will be also in the dorms, and we're trying to work it out so we can be in the same suite (but dear god not the same room i would kill myself and then him in that order). My guess is that it'll rock the first month or two, I'll hate his guts sometime around winter break, and then near the beginning of second semester It'll rock again.